Everyone hopes to meet a good person… but when we do, we no longer see them as good because once we own something, we begin to see its goodness as ordinary… and when we realize that the person we met is good… they are no longer there.
— Winston Man
Excerpt from AI:
Winston Man’s writing offers profound philosophy on how people often change their perception of the value of something once they possess it. The story about the "good person" is not only a metaphor but also reflects some complex psychological rules in the relationship between humans and the things we desire.
Idealization in Expectations
At first, when we do not possess something, we often idealize it. In this case, a "good person" is viewed through the lens of expectations, desires, and the ideal values we seek. We do not see their flaws or limitations because we perceive them only through what we hope and long for. We expect that a good person will give us something grand, perfect, and eternal. This is unrealistic expectation and part of human nature, as we always seek perfection, whether in love, friendship, or other relationships.
When we wish to meet a good person, we are not just looking for kindness, but also an ideal relationship – someone who can make us feel complete. This highlights a paradox of human nature: we desire something grand, yet do not fully understand that it may never be perfect when we actually possess it.
The Trivialization of Possession
When we meet a good person, the initial excitement and expectations slowly fade. Why is that? Winston Man points out an interesting idea: once we possess something, the novelty and unfamiliarity begin to wear off. Humans naturally tend to become familiar with the things we have, and this "trivialization" is a natural psychological reaction.
Our initial expectations of the good person turn into an idealized image that is now replaced with reality. And when reality doesn’t align with our imagination, disappointment begins to form. We no longer see that person as special because familiarity causes us to forget the valuable traits they bring. This behavior is not just limited to romantic relationships, but applies in all areas of life – work, family, friendships, and even material possessions. Once we have what we want, we easily lose our appreciation for it simply because it becomes too familiar.
This is truly a lesson on the inability to maintain appreciation in life. When we fail to maintain the initial sense of gratitude, and no longer recognize the goodness in what we have, we lose the very happiness and contentment of the present.
Loss and Regret
When we realize that the good person we once longed for is no longer there, regret begins to set in. This is the most valuable part of Winston Man’s writing. When humans truly realize the value of something or someone, it is often too late. Sometimes we only recognize the value of something once we lose it – be it a person, an opportunity, or even a moment.
This not only reflects a lack of mindfulness in appreciating what we have, but also a paradox in the relationship between awareness and time: we must lose something to be able to recognize its value. People often only value what they have lost, and at that moment, regret becomes powerful. But this regret only exists when we realize that the value we once had is truly greater than we thought.
This is a common psychological rule: people only truly appreciate what they had when they no longer possess it. Regret is the deep realization of the value we failed to appreciate at the right moment.
The Mindset of Appreciation and Changing Perceptions
Looking at the entire writing by Winston Man, we see that the main message is not just a criticism of how people fail to appreciate what they have, but a deeper warning about changing our perceptions. The failure to value what we have is a natural phenomenon in modern society, where we are caught up in the cycle of perfectionism and searching for values beyond our reach.
Through the story of the good person, the author emphasizes that appreciating and preserving what we have is an important life skill. We cannot always chase after new things; we must know how to recognize and maintain the value in the simple things around us. How we treat the people and opportunities around us will determine whether we can grow, and whether we can be happy with what we have, or will continue to live in a state of ingratitude.
Conclusion
Winston Man’s writing is a deep reflection on how humans face expectations and reality in life. It warns us about a very common psychological trend: we often fail to appreciate what we have until we lose it. Therefore, instead of constantly chasing after new and idealized things, we need to learn how to appreciate and preserve the truly important values in life. Appreciating what we have will help us live a more meaningful life, instead of always searching for something that will disappoint us when we realize it is not as perfect as we imagined.
